If one partner orgasms almost every time and the other rarely does, the answer is not more pressure to perform. The sexual routine usually needs more clitoral stimulation, more time and less focus on penetration as the main event.
Stop treating penetration as the full meal
Many women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Oral sex, fingers, a vibrator and grinding positions are not optional extras if those are the sensations her body responds to.
Let her pleasure happen before penetration sometimes. This removes the race against a partner's ejaculation and allows penetration to become an additional sensation rather than the only chance to climax.
Build a repeatable route
- Ask how she masturbates: pressure, speed, position and toys.
- Repeat successful techniques instead of inventing a new routine every night.
- Keep clitoral stimulation going during penetration if she wants it.
- After one partner orgasms, continue focusing on the other unless they prefer to stop.
Remove the demand to finish
An orgasm goal can become another form of pressure. Agree that pleasure, arousal and honest feedback count even when orgasm does not happen. Paradoxically, less pressure often makes orgasm easier.
Sudden or persistent inability to orgasm can relate to medication, hormones, pain or stress. A qualified clinician can help when the issue causes distress.
For consenting adults. Stop any activity that causes pain, fear or discomfort.
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